Discussion in the morning with Dr. Weiner about respirators and Jewish law. Rabbi Anemer tells me to ask him if there is any unusual pain an elderly person would suffer as a result ofintubation. Dr. Weiner replies that if you have to put an elderly person back on a respirator every 3 days until the end, then yes, there is more total pain for an elderly person. This does not satisfy Rabbi Anemer. I call Rabbi Anemer more than once going back and forth with Dr. Weiner. I ask Dr. Weiner if he would want to speak to Rabbi Anemer directly and he says no. My mind on this matter is completely made up. Even aside from Halacha it simply makes no sense not to aggressively treat a man who has no cardio-pulmonary disease or cancer, is ambulatory and very happy to be alive.

Dr. Shah wants a central line inserted for enzyme replenishment and faster administration of medication. He explains risks/benefits. (Risks = infection, bleeding) Says no discomfort is involved as Novocain is used. Female intern comes out of room and tells me “everything went fine, they’re just cleaning up.” I’m with Dr. Nawaz in hallway when Dr. Shah comes out and tells him “I couldn’t get it in. Tried twice and didn’t want to risk inserting a dirty line. He was moving around too much from the pain.” I enter the room to find my father breathing heavily and his O2 level in the mid 80s. Dr. Nawaz tells me they will have to intubate soon. “It is time to make a decision,” he says. I tell him the decision was already made. Denise walks in carrying a plastic tub and tells me and Nomeda “you’ll have to leave.” I ask her what she was going to do. “You said you wanted him intubated, didn’t you?” she replies, with unmistakable annoyance. I suddenly feel a chill, realizing that she would have preferred my father die at that time. What kind of hospital is this?

Nomeda and I sit in the waiting area. Nomeda says to me “I take care of…I be with…many older people…but never like your father.” They allow us into the ICU to see my father. He is resting very comfortably. What an amazing relief compared to the way he looked before the intubation. When I get back to the ICU waiting area before the 6:00 pm visiting hours I meet med student Horde in the waiting area. He inquires of my wellbeing and tells me that without question I did the right thing to intubate my father. He says “if it were me who had the choice of suffering the way your father was suffering today or the way he is resting now I would take this without question. I want you to do something – when your father wakes up just whisper in his ear to breath with the machine – in, out. Don’t fight the machine.”

Once inside the ICU I see Dr. Kermaier and introduce myself. I tell him that my father is 91 years old and I put him on a respirator; I hope I did the right thing. He asks me why my father is here. “Did he have a stroke?” I say no. “How is his quality of life? Is he in a nursing home?” I answer no, explaining that while my father does have some dementia, he is happy, healthy and walks to shul with me on Shabbos. He gives me a puzzled look and says “well then I’m not sure what your question is.” He peeks in on my father and says “he should have a Refuah Shlaima” (complete recovery.)

My colleagues Richard and Natalia come from work to visit me. While I’m talking with them in the waiting room ICU nurse Sue (wears long hair braid in front) comes over on her way out. She tells me she tried to insert NG tube but it would not go down. She is unwilling to try again. Tells me a GI consult is set up for Friday morning. My father is resting comfortably. He had no food on at all on Thursday.